More of Page 123

Okay, so I was working diligently on the revision at five a.m. and I started to wonder what was on page 123 of the two previous drafts of this novel-in-flux (because change is not always progress).  Out of sheer curiosity I pulled up the other drafts. 

Page 123 in the 400+ page draft that I workshopped in Paris and forced four unsuspecting writers to read, goes like this:   

“Did I like it?  Of course I did.”⁴  “What did you like about it?”⁵  And that was where she was lost.⁶  She always wanted to say it was pretty but the truth was that it wasn’t always pretty.⁷  Sometimes the intensity and forcefulness of the sound was anything but pretty but it was her son and she loved every note that fell from his horn because she was his mother and she was proud of him, and besides, everyone loved Turo’s music.⁸

In the scene Cassie Maxwell is musing over a conversation she once had with her husband about a song her youngest son had composed and shared with them. 

Page 123 in the first complete draft that I wrote in six weeks of morning pages that only my sister and my first reader Michele suffered through, goes like this:

“Mark my words.⁵  Lena will rue the day.⁶  That man has evil eyes.”⁷  Then Me-Ma took the only picture showing Alistair Drake’s dark blue eyes and stuffed it in the pocket of her blue gingham house dress.⁸  

In the scene Taffy Brown remembers her grandmother’s first impression of Alistair Drake from a photo Taffy’s sister, Selena, sent home informing them of her impromptu marriage. It’s amazing how so much is contained in a few lines. 

Q

~ by quincee on 21 March 2008.